When you were told that you had terminal cancer,you knew you would not survive,but my god did you put up a fight. It was not going to take you that easy. Tests and more tests, your body was like a pin cushion, the oncoligist said you had about 6 months, but they were wrong...you got 2 years. You tried Homeopathy that turned your skin yellow cause of the beta-carrotene you took,myself,,dad and Brother took you to a top Homeopath Hospital in London to see if they could give advice...a part of me thought you will beat this...we all lived on hope and everytime things looked bad,when you had a bad fit and was hospitalised or strong Radiotherapy on your head,you pulled through,you seemed to all of us as so strong..nothing could stop you from surviving this. My brother looked on the Internet for special diets, one was cottage Cheese and something! she tried it and made jokes about it, she read books,she had healing,we all needed to be doing something beacause in reality there was nothing we could do. My Eldest daughter Anna who trained with mums help in Massage gave her nan a healing massage each week which she loved, anything she wanted we tried to give her. My poor brother had a full time job and a new born baby but still he spent time with mum. Every weekend was filled with some where to go or to have dinner at either mine or my brothers house,numerous times a day we told her that we loved her. If her feet were cold we bought special slippers and potions, when her hair fell out we all ralied around and she found a place to get a wig,and tatoo her eyrbrows on, she felt so ugly,being a woman she told me that she hated more than anything how she looked. The steriods bloated you, you ached. Being a dependant woman you hated to ask for anything,but before you even asked people were there for you, we all must of got on your nerves, but what else could we do than love you to death! You tried to get to the Faith Healer twice you didnt want to spoil Christmas you said, we tried didn't we mum, but both times events stoped us from doing it, "just wasnt meant to be you said" me I was angry. Your memory was not good,kept forgeting your pin number...that made you angry, the fits were getting more frequent so you could not be left alone, your hand writing shakey, I could go on and on about your suffering but why would anyone want to talk of that, your dignity,your courage,your constant love was forever there. We all had our special times with you. You sat there in the last year and asked what my wish would be,what would I like to do? Disneyland I said....a few days later she phoned me and said your wish will come true and I have booked us all a trip to disney Paris...what a lovely mum to do that for me and the girls, but Paris was fraught with obsticals, the weather was too hot, travelling had its problems and youb were so ill, but you pushed through mum, I spent the time worrying about your fits nad how u were but you still laughed and done your best to enjoy. It was not a holiday of a lifetime because of all the problems but i will allways remember that you gave me that wish...thankyou mum. When we came back in that June things got harder for you,to go out you needed a Wheelchair,after a trip to the town to buy Christmas Presents, you said Im never going out in that again...and you didnt. They then found more in your brian and then in your lung, we can give you one dose of Chemo they said, it wont cure but it may give you more time. Mum you were so poorly by now, Chemo was strong stuff, but you choose to have a go, it was your dicision to make mum, Why now I thought, she needed it 2 years ago, some of the Medical staff were saints but I had no faith left in some. You put yourself through that mum, after a few days you made us all laugh as you had a new lease of life,"I'll have more of that stuff she said'" she rang up to donnate for Children in need, wrote Xmas cards,Wrapped Presents, sounded chirpy and had motre enegy. Then one night on the 16th Of November Dad said that he had had to call the ambulance. ,Myself and my brother met them there,you had Septisimia from having Chemo, the next 24 hours were to be deciding whether you lived or died. Death would not get my strong mum I thouht and from then on went numb.